It’s a brand new school year, and with it comes a brand new chance to start fresh and have a successful year. Now is the perfect time to break bad study habits and start developing new ones. The more value you place on your child’s education and the more interest you take in it, the better chance he has of doing better in school.

For children, each school day has it’s own routine, and that structure shouldn’t change once the bell rings at three o’clock. Establishing a regular homework routine will not only help you child get more done, it will also keep him focused and allow for more care-free hours once the work is done.

When you schedule homework time will vary on each child. Some children are more productive right after school, when they are still in work mode. Others benefit from a break or a snack between school and homework. Find out what time works best for your child and make that study time for everyday.

Setting a defined study time not only helps your child be more productive, but it also means that he’ll be able to complete assignments and study in smaller increments, rather than procrastinating and doing everything the night before it is due, or studying entire chapters of material the night before the test. Eliminating procrastination habits now will help him through his schooling in the years to come.

In addition to a defined time, you should also have a defined space in which your child can study. TV, radio, phones, and games can be major distractions, and will end up causing your child to spend longer on the work than he would have if he had been able to work uninterrupted. Having their own space to do schoolwork helps children stay focused.

If your child keeps an assignment book, look it over to make sure he completes everything on the list, especially with younger children. Helping them stay organized means fewer forgotten assignments and more time to study for upcoming tests.

Look over your child’s homework. Know what they’re working on, and ask questions about it. Let them teach you what they learned in school. Stimulating conversation about the material can help a child better retain the information. If they can talk about it, they know it.

Resist the urge to ever give your child the right answer. Ask questions that lead them to the right answer, encourage them to check their own work, but don’t do it for them. No one is going to send them to the gallows for a wrong answer. As long as your child learns from them and corrects them next time, mistakes can be a vital part of education.

Homework can be really frustrating, especially if your child is struggling with certain material. There is no teacher to ask for help or clarification, so it is your job to be there for support. Let your child know he can always ask you for help if he needs it. If your child becomes frustrated to the point that his struggles are counterproductive, suggest he take a break and return to the work later.

Send the message that learning isn’t just for school. Ask questions and exchange ideas around the dinner table or while relaxing in the evening. Always encourage your child’s imagination and creativity, no matter how outlandish some of their ideas might seem to you. Read together or separately. Arrange weekend trips to sites or museums that relate to what they are learning in school. Show by example that learning isn’t just for kids, but is a lifelong process.

Contributed by Solomon Brenner author of Black belt Parenting. “the art of raising children for success”  master instructor of Action Karate

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Bullying is an increasing problem in today’s society, and as a parent you may have thought about what you might do if your child was ever bullied. But have you ever considered the other alternative? How do you react when your child is the bully?

If someone tells you that your child is a bully or you witness it for yourself, it can come as a huge shock. It is natural to feel like you need to defend him or his behavior, or even get angry that another person would accuse him of bullying.

It is important, however, to stay calm and objective. It is important to look at the facts of the situation and try to understand how to correct it, and getting upset will impede your ability to do so.

If another parent tells you that your child is bullying theirs, they are likely to be upset, which is even more reason for you to keep your cool. Hear them out and try to discuss the issue calmly. Assure them that if your child is behaving like a bully you intend to do something about it.

Don’t lash out at your child, either. It may be a complete misunderstanding. You need to try to understand the situation from the point of view of everyone involved, including your child. Figure out a plan before you address the problem with your child. Hear them out, have an open conversation and don’t jump to conclusions.

The first step once you’ve ascertained that your child is bullying others is, of course, discipline. It’s important not to get angry, but rather stress the reason for the punishment and what he could have done differently.

The punishment will depend on the severity of the bullying, the age of your child, and the situation in which the bullying took place. For example, if your child was sending mean messages to someone online, ban them from using the computer for anything but school for a period of time.

Whatever punishment you deem appropriate for your child, make sure it is consistent and that your child knows what the consequences for future bullying will be. Make it very clear that this behavior will not be tolerated.

There can be any number of underlying reasons that lead your child to bully others. Bullies often have insecurities or low self-esteem and so pick on others to make themselves feel better. Sometimes bullying stems from a lack of social skills. Your child gets upset or angry and doesn’t know another way to handle these emotions. It could be a lack of empathy that leads your child to bully others; he doesn’t think about how his words and actions make others feel, or doesn’t know how to handle people who look, speak, or act different from him.

If it’s insecurity that turns your child into a bully, try helping him find a hobby or activity that he enjoys and excels at. The confidence he gains from this will help him feel better about himself and lessen his need to pick on others.

Talk about alternative behaviors that your child can use instead of bullying. The next time he gets upset or angry because things don’t go his way, encourage him to just walk away rather than reacting aggressively. Praise him when he chooses to avoid confrontation rather than bullying.

If your child picks on someone who is different from him, discuss the ways in which everyone is different, but we all have feelings and deserve to be treated with respect. Ask him how he would feel if he was the one being bullied.

Most of all, create an environment free of aggression and hostility. Don’t allow your children to bully each other at home, and don’t allow destructive criticism. Ask teachers, the school counselor, or the principal for help with dealing with your child’s aggressive behavior.

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 If you don’t want to talk to someone alone, bring a friend, sibling, or
parent. It especially helps to bring someone who has seen the bullying.
Make it clear to the adult that you are really upset by what’s going on.
This is especially true if the bullying is “verbal bullying.” Many adults
don’t take verbal bullying seriously, but the truth is, this is the kind of
bullying that can hurt the most.

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If you feel you can’t talk to anyone, try writing a letter about what’s
happening. Keep a copy for yourself and give it to an adult you trust.

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If you feel you can’t tell your parents, or your parents don’t give you
the support you need, talk to another adult you trust: a teacher, principal,
school counselor, or someone at your church or synagogue.

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If the bullying happens at school, make sure your parents discuss it with
a school official, not with the parents of the bully.

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Start with your parents. It’s not “tattling”. It’s asking the people who
love you to give you help when you really need it.

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Remember that you are not the one with the problem. It’s the bully who has
the problem.
If you’re being called names or teased, try “The Fog Tank.” Imagine that
you’re inside a huge fish tank filled with white fog. Then, imagine that the
insults are swallowed up by the fog before they reach you. Nothing touches
you. Practice by thinking of the worst things a bully can say to you, then
letting the fog eat them up.
If you’re being bullied again and again, there’s one “Most Important Thing”
you should do: Talk to an adult. This is so important, we’ll say it again.
Talk to an adult!

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Turn and walk away, or run if you have to. Remove yourself from the
situation. Go to a place where an adult is present.

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If you can, turn a comment into a joke. Example: The bully says, “Stupid
outfit!” You say: “Thanks! I’m glad you noticed.”

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